Yesterday, I returned back to NYC after a short trip back home to attend my Grandpa's funeral. It was difficult in many ways (obviously...he passed away) but for me it was hard to see so many of my family members (11 uncles and aunts + 62 cousins) and realize I don't have any connections or relationships with most all of them anymore. A friend just taught me a new yiddish word "MICHIGAS" meaning personal craziness - I understand all families big or small have their issues but in the past few years michigas has really torn apart family members and cut off ties.
For me: I am SOO close to my immediate family and have a mama bear mentality…you just don't mess with my loved ones. I am also not very good at being fake, so when I have a problem with you - you know it. I can't pretend and smile through my teeth -- So I ended up being distant and cold at this reunion seeing certain family members. I wasn't myself. I was angry and upset seeing some people who have caused harm and hurt to those I love most.
When my trip came to end I had a talk with my mom while I was at the airport- she saw the anger in me and had to remind me that is not who I am. We had a long talk about how life is short and it's never good to allow anger to live inside your heart. Which is why I really love this quote:
"Use your smile to change the world, but don't let this world change your smile!"
Life is too short to hold in negativity and like the quote says "don't let this world change your smile" I don't need to recreate relationships with these people or be in constant contact but I always need to be kind when the situations become tough. I know I need to let out the anger and constantly remind myself: that I have a great relationship and bond with my immediate family and in-laws and that is all my heart needs. It will always be more important to have quality over quantity in everything in life. Sorry for the sap fest but felt this was a good way to vent.
On a happier fashion note: Today I'm sharing my outfit that I wore on my visit to Vogue HQ last week in the new One World Trade building. Lucky for me the night before my meeting I had both my sisters at my place and they ended up helping me pick out my outfit. I needed all the help- it's a visit to Vogue!! The times I have worn this sparkly jumpsuit before I have felt too dressy..but one sister suggested adding a white blouse underneath and to me it made the perfect change from being dressy and feeling to 'night' to being a stylish comfortable day outfit. Anyone in NY been to this heart wall on Delancey? Full of hearts and I love it! If you're in NYC you should run by and grab a pic while you can! While you're at it make sure to take a selfie of yourself in front of any piece of art and use #UniqloArtSelfie for a chance to win a $150 Uniqlo gift card (ends 6/9-6/17).
Blouse: Banana Republic / Jumpsuit: H&M / Shoes: Asos / Backpack: Forever 21
Pictures: by my sister @alexgeddes